Spirituality

My mum was a strict Catholic, we were made to pray everyday and every night, mum attended church on Saturdays,Sundays and attended weekly prayer meetings on Wednesdays. I grew up being scared of God and thought I would get struck down or punished if I did something wrong.

I received my first Holy Communion when I was 10 and 16 when I received my Confirmation after sitting a number of classes in preparation. How and what I was supposed to be or do was a bit of a fog,I knew had to go to church once or twice a week ,go to confession once a week or once a month and  help out at church activities. I opted to help out in the youth zone and enjoyed spending time with the youngsters and listening to their thoughts and ideas on how they were going to change things as parents and their lifestyles. It was also here that I learnt to know that One Of my strengths are listening without judging .

I went to Dower Teacher's college After completing Secondary schools I was informed by my mother that I could not go and study Art or Textile Design as they did not have enough money to afford it ,I could study Teaching or Nursing as they were the only two grant aided training provided by the government. I chose teaching as I could  not bare the thought of becoming a nurse as my mum was one .
I did not want to be there and did not attend many classes,I spent it going to the shopping malls,or beach eating ice creams ,having braais(barbecues) and drinking with  the other rebels on campus.
I failed by 1 mark in English as we had to pass both languages.

I had to go back even though I told all my friends I passed...I know big liar hey, it was rather embarrassing to go to all the classes with the new freshmen,
and still see all my friends go to the 2nd Year lectures.
I still had to attend church of course ,the clubs were on Saturday till 2/3:00am so the compromise was, mum said I could go to Saturday evening Mass at 6:30pm and then I could go dancing .
This lasted for as long as I was living in Port Elizabeth and finished teacher training.

I moved away to Fort Beaufort where I got my first teaching job, I lived with a family who attended the United Congregational Church and I attended the Catholic Church. I met a fellow teacher whose dad was the pastor in the Congregational church and started attending that church,then my mum said I still had to attend the Catholic Church, so I went to the Catholic Church first as they started at 8:30am and then attended the Coegregational church at 10:00am and sent for lunch at my friend's house afterwards ,then we would hang out listening to music or go for drives chatting about life ,boys and other stuff.

 I do not feel Comfortable in any church, at  the moment though I still  read my bible and have quiet time with God,whether out of habit or drummed in routine ,I do not know. I know that I have witnessed How good people who made mistakes along the way ,were badly treated by church ministers and members and I oppose those kind of tow-faced standards . I ,personally believe that there has to be a better way forward ,one that does not involve de-humanising individuals because they have somehow made a mistak or a poor choice.
What I do know  is that I believe we are all born good,we have the ability to accept and improve ourselves and others around us ,and that we can all get along .